This late night I could not stop the racing of all the thousands of words flowing through my weary Momma brain.
It all started when I quickly ran back to the kitchen sink to turn off the water. I started filling up a pitcher of water. And it was overflowing in the sink.
I felt convicted to have this Clean. Fresh. Well water. be wasted into the drain.
Because there are so many children, people in the world that don’t even get to experience such a blessing. The blessing of fresh water.
Just moments before I was starting to feel a wave of sadness come over me.
What in the world? Perhaps I’m really tired and need to get to sleep after lathering up with my Lavender essential oils.
You know how women (homeschooling or not) can get all emotional and tied up in a knot over anything. Just depends on……what’s going on in us at the moment.
At any rate….the overflowing, wasted water SNAPPED me out of that prior wave of sorrow that was slowly making its way to overtake me.
Then I started to consider all of the things that I have to be thankful for…….
Then the fresh, clean thoughts of gratitude started to overflow.
* It’s almost midnight and I’m about to go to bed with my husband to lie beside me. I’ll probably snuggle up beside him. It’s our normal sleeping position.
* Today I’ve been told so many times, “I love you” that I don’t know the count.
* My kids hugged me tight before they went to bed.
* Today we had the resources to be able to pay some bills. It’s not always the case.
*I’m so grateful to have unlimited data on my cell phone. Ha!
*I drove to Hendersonville twice after dropping off my 16 year old off for her first *solo* paid violin gig AND made it back home each time without any accidents or problems with our vehicle that’s over 300k miles.
*My almost 19 year old African American son is STILL alive. He called me yesterday from bootcamp to bring me up to speed on him being processed to come back home due to some medical issues. He told me, “I love you SO much Mom. I can’t wait to get back home.”
*Yesterday I made a new friend. She’s a *white* homeschooling lady. We shared a 1-1/2 hour drive yesterday to a meeting concerning *justice* for *black* people. She moved me to tears by sharing her testimony of God’s saving grace in her life. She shared the most intimate of her testimony with me……right off the bat. We are just starting to get to know each other. She trusted me enough…to tell me her story though.
*I had strength and health in my body to clean my bathrooms, mop the floors of my house, repair a few things in the house, wash dishes, send out emails, make some calls and complete some homeschool paperwork for my association.
*This week….every day this week, I received an email or text message saying that something I posted on social media encouraged them greatly. They thanked me!
*Several people this week asked me to pray for them. They honored *me* by asking me to partner with them in faith for the situation in which they were walking through.
*These same people who asked me to pray……believed that the God of all the Universe whose Son is Jesus Christ, in Whom I serve, can intervene and change their situation.
*I asked for their prayers too.
*My husband called me, “Babe” and told me he loved me. He blew a kiss at me when I quickly stopped by his mobile coffee truck.
*Last night, I had a friend tell me to pray for her as she was forced into a divorce that she doesn’t want from a spouse she still desires to be married to.
*My relationship with my husband isn’t always so *sweet* and *mushy.* Earlier this week it was a bit cold and distant.
*My Mom is still alive. She messaged me on FB and sent me a Marco Polo message. She said she was praying for me…..for my strength.
*Yesterday, I encouraged a teen boy who isn’t living with his family nor parents right now. He misses them and wants to go home to them. He’s in foster care.
*I realize how amazing and wise my Mom is. Sadly, I’ve not always held these sentiments.
*This evening the Lord gave me fresh vision and plans for my homeschool Academy!
*He’s (the Lord) confirmed my purpose in the homeschooling community. I’m humbled.
*I’m not where I want to be in the growth of my MLM business.
*My business team is building up confidence and are making it happen.
*I get to work from home and stay with my children, raise them, be with them, teach them, instruct them in the Gospel message of Jesus Christ.
*Often I don’t act as if I’m grateful.
*This week I’ve experienced every emotion possible. I was brought to tears of joy. Tears of sadness. Tears of broken-heartedness. Tears of gratefulness. Joy accompanied with laughter. Shock at unexpected news. Concern. Fear. Anger….Pizza Hut botched my Academy order again. this week. Frustration. Humility. Praise. Overwhelming gratitude.
*I’m still alive! And can *feel.*
*Tonight, I started to compare my body with another women’s body. Then I remembered all the things the Lord allowed me to get done with strength, His breath in my lungs. I then gave the Lord thanks for who she was and who I am. 🙂
*All week I played Christ Church channel on Pandora. It encouraged my heart over and over and brought me closer to the Maker of My Soul. I even sung out loud….Really LOUD in worship to Him.
*This week as is a normal practice…..I kicked some *devil butt* through warfare prayer! Ha!
*The journey of Unschooling is coming along well. My children all told me they are loving Math so much. They want to be *super smart* in math.
*This morning and every morning…..I had a Bible to read. I read it. I received some amazing promises and reminders through God’s Written Word and spoken Word to my heart.
*I heard of a story of a woman who is Arabic and was told the gospel message of Jesus over three years. She was given a Bible. She cried for tears of joy when she received it. She never would have ownership of a Bible otherwise if my *new* friend didn’t give her one.
*Same woman said she believed the gospel message but if she accepted it as her faith she’d loose her children. 😦 She has six children.
*My faith in Jesus the Christ is without possible persecution (as of this writing).
*This week I made some one pretty angry and she let me know in some many choice words. I spoke about *racism.* I boldly rebuttaled without biting my tongue. I stood up *justly.*
*A homeschooling mom shared with me that she is walking through a very tough time with her teenage sons. She’s single as her husband passed some years ago.
*I was able to identify with her. My heart is breaking over a child too. But my husband and I are together. Standing together.
*Today I spoke with several homeschooling members of my association. They were grateful for my service.
*Every day this week…..we’ve had food to eat in the Perry home. Many were not as fortunate. I know.
*The families of my homeschool Academy told me they were grateful for me, my children and my family. They blessed us with hugs, money and speaking good of our name. (A good name is to be desired above rubies.)
*This week I cried out to God for someone who played a part in bringing a place of sadness to our family. I’m not hating. I’m loving her towards repentance through prayer.
* My perspective have been shifting a lot regarding a lot of things in this life. I’m growing up….even at 44 years of age.
* I was given a book written by TuPac. I never thought I’d read anything from him. But I’m really excited to read his book of poetry. My son desires to publish a book of his poems. I don’t think this *gift* was given by accident.
So many raw, real, realities hidden within gratefulness that were trying to be covered up by a wave of sadness!!
I couldn’t go to bed this *morning* (12:42 a.m. now) without getting all of this off my chest.
Homeschooling reader…….social media friend……foe…….
Life is messy.
It brings wounds.
It draws us to places of rawness.
All of our emotions are tapped in some way.
And in all of that realness of life…..
I HAVE TO HOMESCHOOL.
I HAVE TO COMPLETE YOUTUBE VLOGS.
I HAVE TO LEAD VARIOUS GROUPS.
I HAVE TO ANSWER PHONE CALLS.
And……KEEP IT ALL TOGETHER!
My life is NOT worth living unless I am poured out like a drink offering.
I don’t want my life to be just “happy, happy, happy.”
If my life is just “happy, happy, happy” then I’ve focused on myself and what I want to keep me happy.
I’m not a drink offering. I’m just a drink. Filling up my cup so I can enjoy the substance therein.
The reality would then be…..
I didn’t connect with other’s lives. Their raw areas.
I didn’t put myself out there to be:
disappointed, cut up with their words, misunderstood, hurt, conditionally loved, thanked, contacted for help, inquired for prayer, hear their stories, welcomed into the privacy of where they are…..etc.
Happy, Happy, Happy……..that life isn’t for me.
So tonight (this morning)…..
The real, raw, realities of my homeschool life is not perfect.
There are some places of hurt with open wounds.
But….. there is also SO MUCH MORE that is good, beautiful, lovely, heart warming, special, growing, blooming, God-sized AWESOME.
I’m looking forward to tomorrow. (It’s a homeschooling day for us….we are trying to get to 180 by the end of May…Ha!)
But for now…… I’m more than ok. 🙂
Just needed to slow down and think on it in bite-sized pieces of goodness.
It being…..gratefulnesses. 🙂
Why don’t you take some time to do the same?
Embrace the real, raw, realities to be found within your life as you homeschool and live.
Just know equally are the bite-sized pieces of goodness too.
Sending love, hugs and strength to You for the journey!
Be real. Be raw. Accept the realities. Count your blessings. Be a drink offering that’s poured out.
It is worth it!
(You are so welcomed to share this on your social media page, with homeschooling friends, family…humans. It just may be the encouragement they need.)
Angela Jordan Perry, is a wife of 25 years, homeschooling Mom of eight children, mentor, entrepreneur, direct marketer, mad’am farmer, homeschool co-op director, Toastmasters Competent Communicator recipient, racial injustice activist. Angela and her family makes their home in Campobello, SC.